Dear God

I’m going to need those legendary reflexes of yours. Somehow I climbed up on this glass ceiling and I think it’s beginning to buckle. There are cracks everywhere and I've run out of crazy glue. Maybe you can just get your hands ready like when a quarter rolls toward the edge of the kitchen table. Those tiles are hard and I don’t want a repeat of the ‘changing table’ incident. A shit storm is coming; can I borrow your new umbrella? You know the one that can hold like 4 people under it? I like that one ‘cause it has the two layers so the wind won’t catch it and Mary Poppins my ass over the ledge. Good job by the way; this canyon is gorgeous. I’ve been staring at it for days. I was thinking about building a place right over there just beneath the horizon and a garden in that sunny spot; I’ve got it all figured out. But there’s a damned lean on the land and I don’t want to get involved with the lawyers and I heard the owner is a bit of a jerk. But seriously, you better catch me if something happens. Thanks dude.